How to Make a Pumpkin Pie in Eleven Easy Steps


It's best to make this recipe on a stressful, busy day, such as Christmas Eve when it was created.  It's compliant with my special diet (GAPS or SCD).

1. Make a pie crust out of almond flour.

2. Burn it (even though you were following the directions EXACTLY).
3. Lament.

4. Make another pie crust.

5. Cook for half the time the recipe says so it comes out perfect.

6.  Put the pumpkin pie filling in the perfect pie crust and put back in the oven (EXACTLY like the recipe says) until the pumpkin is cooked and the crust burns to a blackened crisp.
7.  Lament.

8.  Make yet ANOTHER pie crust.  (Refer to Step 5.)

9. When pie crust is cooled, spoon the pumpkin pie filling from the burned pie into the perfect crust. 
10.  Let your toddler play with the burned pie crusts while you trash them.  (Optional)

 11.  Eat the underwhelming results.

3 comments:

  1. First, what is GAPS or SCD?
    I hate when I spend so much time on baking or cooking something and it doesn't work. Sounds like maybe the crust should have cooked with the pie filling in it. Not that I know.
    Glad Roo got a little fun out of it.

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  2. The SCD and GAPS diet are grain-free, sugar-free (except honey), and starch-free diets. SCD (Specific Carbohydrate Diet) is a 1-2 year diet for people with Crohn's Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Irritable Bowel Disease, Celiac Disease, and other intestinal disorders. It was developed as a treatment for celiac disease in the 1920's but somehow the gluten-free diet took over as the most common treatment, even though the gluten-free diet is permanent. Also, there are some people with celiac that the diet doesn't help. The GAPS diet is the same as SCD, but it's a two year diet and it has some key differences. It was developed as a diet for autism, ADD/ADHD, Depression, and Schizophrenia. It helps with many other conditions, according to people on my GAPS yahoo group. The main principle of both diets is that you starve the bad bacteria in your intestines, and feed the good guys (probiotics, good bacteria) so that your gut can rebalance and the intestines can heal.

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  3. I love how Roo, braceleted, is trying to tell you there is a big problem there. Mama, the food is in the garbage and it's all burned. She's got all the news that's fit to print! I think, in the end, the pie looks yummy!

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